Moving To the Next Level: Fear

You know...when you stop and think, you. realize how many days, months, years in a row that you may have been going through the motions of life. You finally have a moment to stop and you think, wow, that seems like it was so long ago, and it was a week ago. Or you might stop and think to yourself, that happened recently, but yet it was really five years ago.


I've had so many of these moments lately, it's started to scare me. I am afraid of what the future holds, yes. But because I have spent do much time going through the motions, it seems, I am now afraid that I am not cut out for what the future holds.


Let me break it down for you. You ever hear the saying "when you solve one problem, another one comes around"? (Well, if you haven't, now you have). This phrase, to me, is so accurate. See, I have found myself in terms of who I want to be and what my purpose is. I want to be my most authentic self, I want to make a difference, I want to continue to write and launch a public speaking career. That all sounds so exciting, and it is. But the fear sets in when I don't know what to do to get started...so I do nothing. The fear sets in when I realize that I have no idea what I am doing, but need to do something. The fear sets in when I realize that I may have been just going through the motions of life, for months, and not attacking my goals with everything in me.


There are a lot of things in life that I value. There are new things that are arising that and pushing me to move to the next level, to get it going. This new fear, or maybe an old fear that is resurfacing, is forcing me to kick it into gear. I am afraid of failing, I am afraid of being left behind, I am afraid of not making a difference or leaving a mark on this world. This fear, while causing my heart to race and tears to fill my eyes what seems like every other night, is a motivation. It's the two hands on my back that are pushing me forward, even though I am scuffing my feet across the ground, almost refusing to move in the direction that fear is taking me.


So you see, simply going through the motions, just surviving, is a response to trauma and a response to negative stimulus. It's our brains way of shutting down what hurting us, but doing just enough thats needed to survive. And yes, this happens because, sometimes, facing fears can feel crippling. It can feel, well, scary. But when we take that moment to stop, when we allow ourselves to name what it is that we are afraid of and acknowledge the real emotions behind it (maybe something is going to make us sad, or angry, or we think it will actually make us happen but don't want it to go south) that's when the motivation kicks in and we can move forward.


What are you afraid of in life? More importantly, how are you going to rewrite that fear as a way to push you forward?


Growth, Positivity, & All the things [healing],

Jaymee