Holiday Grief

Updated: Nov 25, 2021

We all know (and if you don't know, you will find out) that seasonal depression and holiday grief are a thing! Hell, they might be even more of thing this year than they have ever been. Not to talk much about the pandemic, but that alone adds an extra layer of discomfort and uncertainty around a season where individuals, including myself, feel depressed, anxious, lonely, or all of the above.

Holiday Grief can be caused by a number of different issues:

A loss

A break up

The early darkness and bitter cold

Feeling alone

Already having depression or anxiety

Feeling stuck (inside)

Lack of Vitamin D (and C)


Regardless of why you are feeling this sort of grief this season, you are validate and seen. You also aren't alone, despite how trash you might feel right now.

The holidays are a time when family and friends come together, stories and traditional foods are shared, and the general vibe in the air is warm and cozy. However, when you've experienced a lost of any kind, or suffer from depression (of any kind), the holidays can magnify those feelings of angst and grief. The holidays can spread vines of envy that, coupled with negative feelings and sorrow, can swallow a person whole. As a "survivor" or seasonal depression and holiday grief, I am here to offer you some tips to not only "make it through" the holiday season, but to reclaim your time and even enjoy it!

  1. Set boundaries with holiday events, but also with yourself.

Don't feel like you have to go to every holiday party or event that you are invited to. That could be extremely overwhelming and even have an even more negative effect. Instead, set boundaries with yourself. Plan ahead so that you can give yourself opportunities to connect, but time to yourself as well. Try one, then two, and more if you can. If you stop at one, thats fine too.

2. Volunteer this season!

Everyone needs a little gratification from time to time. If you are going through a break up, feeling a little lonely, or generally more moody during this time of year, then volunteering at a food pantry, a shelter, or holiday drive might be best for you. You get to meet new people, you're doing a GREAT cause for other humans, and you get yourself out of the house (and out of your feelings) for a bit.

3. Sit with your emotions!

Yall, let me take this time to tell you that running from your feelings for too long doesn't work. They are going to come out, regardless, so you might as well control when and how. As you sit with and unpack those emotions, written or verbally, you'll allow yourself the opportunity to deal with them and realize where those emotions are really coming from.

4. Create New Traditions!

Reclaim your power this season by doing what the hell you want to do. You are not bound by whatever traditions you did or didn't have. I don't have t